Now more then ever I'd really like to leave my 9 to 5 job. I've lost all patients for this place and the people in it. I'm tired of being spoken to like I'm some brainless secretary for some egotistical asshole. I don't know where I'm heading or what I'm trying to accomplish. I'm all over the place at this point and really looking to find my place in photography. If I have one at all. Serious doubt and critical eyes have me second guessing myself...again. I look at my stuff and I think I could make something out of this. I look at my current location in correspondence to that goal and I feel like I'm off the effin map. I need guidance, someone who would be willing to take me under their wing and teach me what I'm missing. What is it that I'm missing?

Building a Representation of You as an Artist

Building a decent and presentable photography portfolio is proving to be difficult. I seem to fall in love with a certain set of pictures, and just as fast find them amateur and below standard. I was forced onto making headway on my web site. I was asked by a potential model where it could be viewed. Me being the perfectionist that I try to be, I just couldn't hook her up with a link to myspace. How unprofessional that would look! I took some time (while at work) and got some links in place. For the time frame that I have to work in, I think it turned out pretty well. Ok, I hope it turned out well. I don't have many portraits to display, I have a few artistic looking photos that I've taken of myself. I believe they can muster up an overall idea of what I can do or what I'm capable of. I'd love some feedback, if you happen to stumble across my blog or web site please feel free!

Disneyland, the dark and colorful side

Rightly named the magic kingdom, Disneyland is our special place. A time when we can all act like we're 10 and leave the real world and all it's problems aside. Of course, one must expect to gather a whole new set of problems but none more terrible then standing in a line. Our family vacations revolve around this spectacular place and with good reason. Fun is had by all, until the day comes when we must find our way back home. Through the screaming kids, and overpriced food we still find the magic that Disneyland offers to all who walk through the gates. Each time we stroll down Main Street and that all familiar castle comes into focus, our smiles widen and the excitement is uncontrollable. This family loves our magic, we submerse ourselves in it and wait for the next trip down to southern California , when we will once again turn back the clock and enjoy the wonderful world of Walt Disney. These pictures were more then just a family vacation. I really tried to capture what beauty and amazment there is at Disneyland. I really wanted the viewer to get a feel for the dark, yet colorful side.

Northern State Hospital Dairy Farm

I visited what used to be Northern State Hospital, It's currently ran as Northern Cascade something or other. In any case it's a pretty creepy old mental hospital and campus that is still being used to some degree. I'm not sure what my expectations were but I think I was slightly disappointed. I wasn't able to capture much seeing as how I was restricted to one road and a row of buildings I could access. I do admit the architecture of the main building was impressive. I would have loved to go inside but I was too afraid to ask. The gentleman allowing me to shoot was a tad abrasive, I'm sure he had good reason. The day wasn't a total loss. I got back on the highway and found the old dairy farm that used to support the hospital. Run down and a playground for the wicked, this peaceful bit of land lends itself for some very interesting photos. Sadly, the dairy farm is set to be torn down by the state. It feels that the history behind it cannot support it's existence. I feel lucky to have been able to see this through my lens and with my eyes.

Getting My Stuff Out There

Trying to get yourself out there as a photographer has panned out to be quite hard. I haven't spent the money on a web domain as of yet but plans are definitely in the making. I do what I can with the tools that I have. Word of mouth seems to be the best advertisement thus far, I even have made it all the way to Ohio. I'm slightly afraid of what will happen and how busy I'll become if I ever do hit professional status, I mean what's to say I get all this work and have no way of completing it? I dunno, sometimes I think I'm way off base but then there's time when I feel like I can really do this and my pictures are really, really good. I think I'm lacking feed back, I just can't seem to get constructive anything. Sure I get a ton of "that's cool" and "those are awesome" but what I really need is a mentor telling me exactly what I'm missing. Of course a mentor that works for cheap. Whatever the case may be, my work will continue and I hope you enjoy.